Are you an SEO Expert?

This tells me to update myself too often otherwise i may get lost in this big crowd of Online Marketing.

Note:Amit Gupta is a SEO expert based at mumbai and working with some of who's who of industrial power houses.

In the school they said, write what you wanted to be in your life.She came with a big blank paper and a 5 letter word 'HAPPY'. Ms. Raima said i think u didnt understood the assignment and everyone heard her "You dont understand the life"

Now you must be wondering to know more about her, where is she,what she did,is she happy after a good 23 years.

Let me take you back to eighties when dharmendra and dev anand were everywhere and we were at Bokaro. A girl and a boy and many other boys and many other girls....she was never an epitome of our group, she was a bit boyish, a bit outgoing and to say the truth she was more forthcoming and mature than all of us. At that time, we never knew 'Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus'....we thought we all belong to this mother of all planets, earth and Bokaro was the whole earth for us.

She was a golden girl because whenever we didn’t do our homework, we copied from her, whenever we did something wrong, she owned the responsibility……she always felt happy when we ate her lunch…we loved her heart shaped golden pendant……I used to touch it and love the touch.

We saw so many pictures, publicly screened by Bokaro Steel Plant authorities but we knew they were not from our planet and they really looked different with so perfect screen presence.

So, lets go back to the story....priyanka did well in studies,so did we.Just like good fellows, we bid good bye to each other and flew in different directions....i did engineering,prakash did biotech, sarla got into medicals and priyanka got into speach therapy. I know a speach therapist story among all those doctors,engineers and management looks weird, but life do have weird ways to teach you and mind you….. speach is most important aspect of human existence.

We got busy in our own worlds, far away from each other and not aware of each others existence.

Now our story has to take a turn and as they say "chhoti si yeh duniya, anjane raste hain..tum kahin to miloge, kabhi to miloge.........toh puchhenge baat "  and I met priyanka at shimla airport about 4 years ago, she was with a guy on wheel chair, crippled guy with or without movement. I was getting late for my tech conference and was the lead speaker so just exchanged our numbers and got going.

The conference was fine, people appreciated and jotted down management lessons i shared with them but to say truly........i was still thinking about priyanka and dat guy on wheel chair. Way back, Kamlesh had told me about priyanka's affair with Rohit...she was good, he was a gem and i heard he also gifted her a 32 Carat potato sized diamond ring on her Birthday. She was always a girl of dreams...she had heard it all; para gliding,go karting and bungy jumping....and at that age, we knew non of them.When kamlesh asked me about bungy jumping, i could only tell them about the one i did; wearing my elder brother's baggy green pants and jumping from 6' high boundry wall,when my father was chasing me for a pretty bad score card.

To worsen the situation in Shimla, snow gained muscles, turned into heavy snow and started falling everywhere; consequently all flights and connecting routes got closed....in a nutshell for 10 days i had to remain in shimla. I did prepare some slides and posted some nice pictures on my blog but in a day or two....slow internet connection and boring routine made me contemplate suicide. 

When life bores, we look for friends and i could see one of my school friend in form of a visiting card,lying on the table. It read "Priyanka Mukhorjee,CEO-Akash Bangla " . In eastern India Akash Bangla was a leading channel.I tried calling her but to no avail..line was dead like hell. I decided to take a walk and may be drop in at Priyanka's address.

I had to take a long stroll as it was snow, snow and all snow. It was a old bunglaw and had to bang umpteem times to see it open. And here at the gate, a different priyanka sans her non chalant voice was standing,.....she looked a godess of sacrifice(weird imaginitation....mind can paint anyone red).

There was nobody home, it was a big house with 1 servant and my friend priyanka with crippled guy.

She was still intelligent though,made me do away with my rinsed fur coat and had me seated near to bone fire; by that time i had renamed our crippled guy....Bone.

I was self invited guest at lunch,surprisingly a veg affair;priyanka the self pledged 'will not start day without chicken' eating veg gave immense pleasure to a pure veggie like me.

The crippled guy had to take rest so servant took him away. P looked at my question filled eyes and 'i know you have quite a few questions'.

She has to marry someone else,at the behest of her dying father and crying mother. Ranjon Mukhorjee was not a bad man but she missed rohit like hell. She was not used to gentle care & unconditioned love and that made him different from her childhood sweetheart's ways of violent & passionate love.

Ranjon was a trainee pilot and he always pushed air baby to full throttle to quest his thurst of speed. He was good, brave and couragious that made him a good fighter and in turn got pushed to all corners to fight the battle. In one such insurgency fights in sri lanka, LTTE shot down his MIG13.....he tried reasoning with the mean machine but to no avail....his legs were numb and when Ranjon crashed on the rocks, his legs could not take the load of body. When he woke up, the 'body to die for' had turned to 'near dead body'....and thereon he was responsibility of Priynka.

 P was not yet settled into the married life and this casualty took a toll on her. Ranjon was the only son of his dead parents; so she has to look after him. Ranjon’s family also owned Akash Bengla TV Channel so she has to also take care of family business. To her surprise, She met Rohit, who was working as Marketing Head. Rohit knew the conditions, bumped into her house, wanted to embrace her and follow him leaving everything right there.

Although P didn’t liked Ranjon so much, could not find a reason to stay with him but leaving him like that’s was not acceptable to her golden heart……so next day Rohit was fired.

She wanted to research for some medical advances and when I contacted my other school mates; it was pretty easy. Shantanu was in Michigan and he was into medical.

The history was made, we all pooled together and gave them time of a life……and a healthy and active Ranjon.

I Reached Shimla………..we friends had a great time, Ranjon and P were great host. They gave each of us a momento……when I opened the packet in the flight, it was a golden heart pendant….seems like a piece of her heart.  

by Amit Gupta

Continued from previous post [after coming back from Ranchi]:

Management type 006: tough nut

 This type of management people are very straight forward and demand action at their nod. They tend to get to the interior type of problems and find you playing with them. So guyz, be aware if you are delaying something or you are the reason behind some problem…….you will be under fire. 

They may look casual and easy to approach but they are very tough nut to crack. 

Management type 007: James Bond

 Management type 007 does resemble James Bond not just because they share the lucky number but because they are master of all trades. They have an opinion for everything and anything on this earth and they love to poke their bloody nose in all directions. 

Although this management type can do justice with every task given to them because of their vast resources and learning capability however flip side is they scratch everyone so everybody is looking for opportunity to have a go at him/her. Be aware, they have a license to kill. 

Management type 008: Creative Intellect

 They are known as intellects and generally from creamy educational institutes and acts as a showcase for organization. They do have fancy degrees and fancy posts but in reality they never have the power.

Upper stanza of management uses them to hide their original self. They are involved in creative work which does not benefit anyone but gives a reason to him to be occupied. 

Management Type 009: Intellect multiplied by 10

 This management type of people is intellect multiplied by 10 and outspoken. Here “Outspoken” means speaking even outside their periphery and keep speaking till everyone says “enough is enough” but this type of management is hired for internal entertainment and punishment to client …..So you can’t really help yourself.

If you are working under this type of guy, your chances of being busy are more …look pre-occupied in some serious stuff and you will be epitome of organization in his eyes.  

Management Type 010: Good for nothing

 This Management type of people are typical managers, they don’t work but believe in torturing you so that you work for them. You will always find them roaming with folded hands and standing just behind you when you opened your personal emails. 

They will always find excuses to make you do their work and show gratitude for things , they have never done for you. 

Management type 011: subject experts

 They are in management because they were never comfortable in their core areas so they enter management. Although their intentions are sincere, but un-intentionally some or the other damage happens.

You will find them getting into various discussions but results…who the heck invented this word. Nepolean didn’t had IMPOSSIBLE, he does not have RESULT.. Help save my friends from these all type of management people….help India. 

This was written for fun and I hope you don’t associate yourself from any of these and think it’s inspired by you.

 I take this opportunity to thank none of you, who read this, because it’s not inspired by you.  

Other than writing this crticism, I also work as Search Engine Optimization expert and my SEO work will not give you any area to criticise. [Amit Gupta SEO]

Long time……. NO C...directly M.

Yes, this was such a long period ... although I wrote 3 stories but postponed their blog birth because some people who know they suck, they heard about it and was upset to know that secret is out on the street.

Anyways, I have so many friends from management background and vice versa, so decided to devote my 5 days blog entry to them. People write so much about geeks, nerds and socially deprived software people however we tend to keep Management aside, for abuses after appraisal and for jokes in lunchtime.

History will remember me; I gave them a chance to be recognized….so be a part of history.

Before starting, let me take this opportunity to deny that it’s inspired from any of my management friends….this is a non management view of Management. I want you folks to read it, decide which types are you and let me know by your kind comments…phone calls strictly from beautiful management people. Say no to DOSTANA.

Management Type 001: Born Leaders

They are sincere, committed and light hearted; share their trade secrets with you. This type of management loves their job and backs their team to the tilt. They want you to learn everything and never fail on your deadline.

They are simply adorable but can’t handle criticism because according to their memory, they invented all that is good around them and take ownership of the “Perfect” word. They are very demanding too so if you are a thick skinned employee; your days are numbered.

Management Type 002: Silent Leaders

AJ entered office, talking on his blackberry, waved good morning to everyone and took his seat. While traveling from home to office, he has already solved 7 problems faced by Indian offshore team. He is Akhilesh Jaggnath Madatiparambil, fondly known as AJ the solution.

Last week, there was some compatibility issue while running the latest version of web application and we were harassing our onshore coordinators as usual. The browser settings refused to let it work. Prasad, our charming IT coordinator was bugged and told us to recreate the problematic conditions faced by USA team to get into the muddle and find out the exact problem. AJ was passing by conference area, stopped for a moment, hopped on the call and said “Guys!! Recreate the Solution, never the problem” That was AJ as usual, you throw a challenge on him and he will give you so many solutions that you will pity on your stupidity. AJ was always every where, talking on his blackberry every time; he was always solving problems or winning over someone with his blackberry. He bribed the priest for allowing him to talk on his blackberry, while taking rounds of heavenly fire during his marriage. 

Company was proud of AJ and employees loved their savior. Although everyone always talked about his bravado, he always had a fear of losing his lucky charm i.e. his blackberry. This blackberry was testimony to his rise from rags to riches; he was nobody, but the day he bought this blackberry, lady luck favored him and he got this creamy position. He never looked back, gave his best to his job and ultimately it became a habit to touch the soil and make it gold. One day, Jennifer got a wrong number by calling AJ on his blackberry and he got a right wife for life. Whenever he got into a problem, his blackberry was not with him. Once he forgot his blackberry at office and he got fined, twice for lane jumping. Conditions, situations both forced him to believe in the lucky charm. From thereon, he used to keep his blackberry with him, in showers, on treadmill, virtually everywhere.

AJ was doing great, so was the company and he never cared a dim about anything else. However on that particular day, there were some divine powers working against him; he was driving back home and traffic sergeant instructed him to stop in last lane. He asked AJ for his name, as soon as he uttered Akhilesh Jaggnath Madatiparambil, Marabou started writing something on some paper. And to his horror, AJ had to part with his blackberry, his 4 wheel drive and his passport. Traffic sergeant was Marabou Lewinsky, a kind hearted man to everyone but always held a grudge against people, who had bill in their name. He was always a butt of jokes for sharing his surname with Monika Lewinsky (Bill Clinton fame) and every time somebody told him a Monika joke, he took a pledge to fine 10 more people sharing Bill Clinton’s first or last name. AJ tried reasoning with him but to no avail, he was told to collect them after 15 days from the court.

Without his blackberry, he was feeling devastated. As soon as he reached home, his always sweet wife Jennifer yelled at him as some ‘Kristin’ had called up home and left some kisses on the voice recorder. He made her at peace but he was feeling doomed. He knew, with his lucky charm being away, problems will attack him from all the corners.

And he was so true, he reached office and nothing was working as it used to be. He got an email about dropping sales, that’s a warning. He tried writing a mail, his computer hanged; he tried calling some new clients, nobody took his calls. He was getting mad, he was desperate to hear some nice word about him; he tried talking to Indian counterparts, they always showered praises on him but today they only complained. AJ’s head was paining like hell, so he decided to go for a cup of coffee, but as the luck had it, coffee vending machine showed no coffee. After spending a near disastrous day at work, he reached home; Bruno the dog was having fever and roof was leaking. After a hard fought half spent night, AJ the winner was feeling like a looser and retired to bed. AJ woke up by some hussy mushy sounds. He came downstairs and saw his sweet son Jr. trying his best to reach the cookie jar kept at 6 ft height. AJ got lost in his innocence; he felt at ease with himself and sat right there watching antics of Jr.

Junior was just 6 years old but he seemed to be blessed with more patience than his father. He tried umpteen times and sat there watching the cookie jar. He felt like giving him the jar but thought to see what all he can do. Jr. had a watch, which was with him day and night and he kept it close to heart every time. AJ told to himself, my son is not succeeding because he also does not have his lucky charm, his watch.  He wanted to see if Jr. looses hope just like his father without his lucky charm or get to the Jar. Junior disappeared somewhere and he thought, Jr. will be back with his watch and everything will fall in place for him. But, Alas! Junior was back with his toy ladder and AJ’s hockey stick, and in few moments, the Jar was all his. AJ hugged him tight, junior was scared but he saw his always brave dad crying.

Junior relished the cookies and AJ enjoyed the new found hope; at 2’O clock duo were having a time of life, eating cookies together.

AJ was out of his bed at sharp 6, it all went well in the gym; this was first time, he clocked 5 km in 20 minutes flat. AJ kissed Jr. Goodbye to school and dropped Jennifer to office. Within a week’s time, he could restore and improve the sales figures of the company. He signed some new contracts for the company and was sure of good times ahead. Although nobody showered him with praises, he was sure it will come eventually.

The days at office were never so good; AJ never felt so confident about his capabilities. Six months passed by and he was virtually everywhere, his strategies were talk of the town; he bailed out many companies from near bankruptcy.

His blackberry was back in his bag but he rarely used it. He treated it as a bad omen, suddenly it rang. A sweet voice was heard asking for him, somebody from ‘Blackberry the company’ wanted to speak to him; he heard Blackberry’s CFO Malcolm Speed voice on other side; they needed his help for bailing them out from a near bankruptcy. They wanted to meet him anytime convenient to him, even at 12 midnight. AJ’s Rolls Royce took a sharp turn; he met them, discussed strategies and assured them of help. He carried all the necessary papers with him for finalizing the strategies.

Next, he got a call from his son; Junior wanted him to bail out his paper boat from the pool. He reached home, bailed out the paper boat; AJ was ready to bail out the berry boat.

I was going to office from Vashi to Mulund in my brand new car. Yes, at last I own my dream car.

Although, this was a perfect day and I was driving my dream. My eyes were searching someone on the road…somewhere near the bus stop…I could not see her....neither him. 

Traffic signal showed 320 seconds to turn green and I soaked myself 3 months back in time. I was sitting in nearly empty BEST 512 Bus, bus screeched to a halt and some laborers boarded the bus. I was looking at their cloths and was thinking about hard times they face in this cold season. I started feeling bad…that’s why I hate this bus journey; always forces me to turn into a social activist.

Someone was blushing and talking sweet nothings just behind me; I turned backwards and saw two innocent faces talking to each other. Their clothes were same as other laborers but i could clearly see the distinct spark in her eyes. Her eyes were saying 1000 words per milli seconds and the guy had expression of King..he looked content, happy, responsible and full of love. Someone said it very right “Allen Solly can not bring a smile but a happy face can; wear a smile instead”. Her smile was surely infectious and he was holding her hand like no matter what, we are made for each other.

This became a routine, I used to take 9:15 morning bus and they used to take the same bus from next stop.

I was expecting some guests so needed someone to clean my garage to portray a clean man image. These guests with 25 Lakh cash and a dream car, were searching for a groom; according to my parents, I was one of the candidates. After researching well about my dream car on India’s Leading Automobile portal i.e. Carwale.com, I was pretty convinced about my ability to afford the car and inability to afford the fuel. To get my dream car without paying a single installment and a bank balance protecting me from all the forthcoming international fuel hikes; I opted for this so called cleanliness campaign. I never wanted to leave a chance to own this car, a hefty bank balance and so called lure of home cooked food from the hands of lovely wife.

I called my friendly Turnkey contractor Siddhartha, he promised to send over some laborers for my house cleaning campaign. I took 3 days holiday, now I had a extended weekend and ample time to prove my worth of a well settled man with clean habits sans my wine bottles, cigarettes etc.

I recognized them from far away; they were the same laborer couple holding hands and traveling with me everyday. Their name was Raja and Kajri. I welcomed them home and told them what all I expect from them and why. They smiled and started working collectively.

I observed them giggling, helping each other, dreaming with each other. 2 days past, I was a proud owner of a neat & clean house; neither my parents nor my guests could believe their eyes. They were way impressed with my teetotaler habits and clean house ; they finalized my candidature for their high profile daughter, who has studied all letters in alphabet but has forgot to understand few of them like K for Kitchen and  Khana banana  but she knew khana kaise khana..clever thing nah.

Anyways, now I was sure of getting hands on my share of money and my dream car; so thought of celebrating by calling a party for all contributors at lunch.  I could not have forgot Raja and Kajri so invited them for dinner; I wanted to learn something from their happiness, so they were the only guest at dinner. As promised they turned up; shy and reserve but confident. I served them dinner, sat with them and asked them about their life.

Their story was full of love and inspiring; they got married at the age of 14 and 16. Although she could not study much beyond 7^th but she has her own dreams. She wanted a guy, who is confident, caring and able to take bull by horns. Nobody could understand her and she was married off with Raja, a guy she has not even seen before. Raja was a fine man, a hardworking and shy guy;  she knew he was right one but wanted to mould him into her dream piece. She asked him to hold her hand but he looked down shyly. She thought to herself, sometimes you need to work towards making your dream into a reality.

She made him believe in her dreams and helped him understand the importance of many more things, which she has seen in books but not in real; they left their cultivating farm lands behind and came to this cruel city. They did odd jobs but trying conditions polished them, made them realize the importance of being together and what they mean to each other. The shared their bread, pain, smiles and life and now they understand the meaning of soul too. Yesterday, when she was getting into the bus, conductor started the bus and she lost her balance but he did not let her fall with his tight grip. Other day, Raja got promoted due to his sheer hard work and another worker got bruised due to his eyes venturing out of focus and staying too long on Kajri.

Although they were sitting besides me, I could feel sounds coming from so far, may be heaven. I could see an Aura encircling them and their love, she was clutching on his hands. Suddenly she said “Sir, today I am proud of my husband. I dreamt about him holding my hand and my dream is attained. We will leave for our home place, tomorrow early morning. We had come here to get exposure and learn from the life. We will go back to our farms and can cultivate gold from our lands”. Her beaming smile and his lightened face was assuring of awaiting gold mines.

Signal turned green and I drove towards office.

I had learned my lesson from them, worked hard towards achieving my dream car, dream bungalow and dream wife. I did not compromised with what was being offered to me in plate; 25 Lakh in cash, 4 wheel drive and a wife different from my dreams. I worked hard – full time and part time, increased my savings, ran a consultancy, invested in studies and now I own this place called Ventura Tech InfoTech with 300 strong employees.

The cherry on the cake was I could marry the girl, whom I loved from bottom of my heart i.e. my own Kajri.

Believe in dreams and have faith; you did one compromise and you won't be able to dream thereon, because you wil not have a sound sleep.  - by Amit Gupta

Sam was cursing his stars for coming down to India’s business capital city of Mumbai; so called epitome of ever growing companies and a global village. 

He really didn’t had any memories of so called Mumbai, as his parents migrated way back to an alien city in USA. He hardly visited India due to scarcity of holidays in father’s account or mother’s constant nagging of narrow minded in laws. In his father’s pink slip duration, he had heard about Mumbai, his father’s native place and had some livid sketches in his mind. Mangesh Bhalerao, his father always took pride in being from Mumbai; a progressive and global industry hub offering amalgamation of all cultures, providing food and shelter to all without discrimination. But either Sam’s dad got suddenly busy in his projects or Sam was way lost in his thoughts; they stopped talking about Mumbai. Once Sam did tried to ask him about the city, matter was shirked away in no time; something must be wrong, but he dare didn’t ask him. 

It’s been 10 years; his parents met with an accident and left him alone to fend for himself in this cruel city. He did odd jobs with everybody for completing his study; including a Pakistani, Bangladeshi and fellow Indians from other unheard parts of India. He never had time for religious activities, never went to a temple but people referred him as a Hindu. When he topped his University, awarded a gold medal; he first thanked his Part-time employer, a Bangladeshi. When he called all the names from all different parts, he wanted to thank; people rose on their feet and clapped for him, he became famous overnight for being a global citizen holding no bars.  

Sam got a job with McDermott Inc. and after a successful stint in UK, South Africa and Nigeria; requested to be posted in India. Request for Indian posting was result of reading a famous book for managers “A monk who sold his Ferrari” and attending so called Indian Yoga. However, he also wanted to taste spicy Indian curries, as described by famous food critic, Himanshu Manroa.

Sam was sure his father’s stories about cosmopolitan culture of  Mumbai, may also help him in earning more money for him and the company and he will be able to buy his sea facing flat on all cash basis in NY. 

He got down at Mumbai airport but surprisingly the language written everywhere was alien to him. He remembered his father’s words, everybody knows English and it’s never a problem; Sam knew English, Spanish and a bit of Hindi. He tried stopping some people and talking to them for directions or taxi but nobody paid a heed to him.

Before coming down to India, he had a lengthy discussion on the strategies with Pooja, MD, India, McDermott. She did mention something deadly as ‘Bandh’, where every industry gets down on their knees and do no work. Sam also remembered Mauna Varta (people following it, don’t utter a single word). However it was beyond his capabilities to understand, what’s happening around him and why the heck, nobody cared a dim for him. 

Suddenly some people came armed with bamboos and sticks and thrashed him badly. They were speaking a language alien to him but their intensity showed, they were not saying kind words. Fortunately somebody called an ambulance,when he could open his eyes; it was paining like hell, he was in hospital and the date was 28^th September. In other words, he had already spent around 7 days in hospital; now he was worried. 

He tried talking to doc and nurse; still nobody cared a dim. He tried finding logic, may be overnight some disease spread and all Indians are deaf; he shouted vigirously “Aaaaaa hhhhhh” and to his surprise, everybody out there, kept hand on their ears. Sam’s mouth was now wrapped with a tape but he was happy and hopeful; Indians can hear, so somebody will hear him. 

At last his company officials in India were able to locate him in the hospital but surprisingly they didn’t talk to him. He tried talking to them, even threatened them with suspension and dire consequences but to no avail. He was suspicious, are they people from his company but logo did portray their affiliation; and thankfully it did match mine. 

He was discharged from the hospital and taken to his office, 4 floors below the ground. Here suddenly he could hear some heavenly words, “hello! Sumatra, how are you?”

He was taken aback, everybody tried speaking with him and he could understand; they were pleading their cases and asking for forgiveness for my sufferings. He was confused, how things changes so soon; he thanked the elephant face god, it was heavenly.

“Drastic Changes have taken place in using any other language anywhere, now other Indian languages can be used 2 floors below the ground and non- Indian languages needs to go beyond 3^rd floor”, taking a sip of coffee, Pooja made me understand. 

She also explained me few draconian laws

1. If any person found speaking any other language, people are free to kick him anywhere anytime and there is no law to save him. People saving him / her will be branded anti national.
2. Corporate companies who have English speaking staff, pay additional 70% tax.

He took early morning flight back to his hometown, NY with his mouth shut close.

Sam was at comfort with everyone; he could relate to his father’s last words, you are a resident of NY and this is your country.

I wanted to post, few of thoughts bothering me throughout this long weekend; certain developments disturbed me so much so that I could not write any.

On this 61st Independence day, everyone either in media or newspapers is questioning the achievements of India. I don’t understand this hoopla because m sure, these buggers don’t have any standing even in their own family. Otherwise, why do we see negative each time, it easy to criticize than take some action. I prefer to write on topics, which are progressive in nature and may do away some ills.

First thing bothering me is Jammu and Kashmir, although I understand there is some problem but don’t know what. Separatist Muslims are demanding freedom from India and inclusion in Pakistan, not backed by any development agendas but solely on religious grounds. Hindus don’t want to let it go, because it’s an integral part and acceding to this demand may mean a series of other similar demands.

Just to conclude, anything which is decided based on some artificial categories are meant to bring more hatred, when categories will divide into more sub-categories. Only thing which can bring glory to humankind is development and being human....be tolerant brothers & sisters. 

Second thing bothering me is “Matribhumi”, a movie by Manish Jha. A futuristic movie on female foeticide made me cry umpteen times. Females are certainly born with more intellect and patience (rarely found in male species). As people have to pay a hefty sum for marrying off their daughters, I understand some of the problem. However it’s more of dowry, poverty, family misconceptions combined with some of the ill traditions, that’s causing much of the damage to females population. In a lighte vein, guys like Ranbeer Kapoor in “Bachna aiye haseeno” are added threat to female’s population; Indian parents are very protective about pre marriage encounters directly linking them to family’s name. We should not distinguish on gender lines; may not serve us well in future. This is another sad movie after Swadesh and Black, which made me cry.

In rural areas, as the number of marriageable women declines, men would tend to marry younger women, leading to a rise in fertility rates and thus a high rate of population growth. The abduction of girls is an associated phenomenon. The Hindustan Times recently reported that young girls from Assam and West Bengal are kidnapped and sold into marriage in neighbouring Haryana.

Please be true to human kind, fear the almighty and protect females.

There are other things bothering me every now and then; let them control my mind or vice versa.

If they overpower me, I will bother you again….till then see you with best of wishes…

Happy Independence day my dear mother India…we love you and we will preserve you.

Want to see a Sardar Munna bhai, go and watch "Singh is Kinng"

Although sardars are known for their hot temper and boiling blood, here is Happy Singh (Akshay) wants to be one.
He indulges in fun and frolic at the cost of villager's peace and loss of property.

There is another singh, dats lucky (Sonu Sood) based in Australia and he is a DON, known as KING.

Villagers get frustrated with Happy's antics and to get rid of his havoc wrecking habits, villagers hatch a plan and send him  to australia for bringing Lucky back to his village.

Thw whole story revoles around Happy's efforts to make his fellow villagers mend their ways and come back to village. In between he also find love in Katrina's arms.

Kiron Kher has been badly wasted  as a loud and poor panjaban based in australia.Although Ranvir looks hot as a arm candy of Katrina and has proved...he can mischoose his roles too.Ranvir is known for his meaty roles, talent and Konkana Sen, how can he too..brutus?

Akshay rocks, katerina's plain jane image (pretty face without emotion) is maintained.

This movie's strong and weak point both are Akshay....he is a proved stud, a good actor.However sardar Munnabhai is something, which people didnt expect and will take time to digest.

Are you ready for Munnabhi..changing avtar from Mumbaiya Tapori to A kind hearted surd....watch it

I rate this movie as 5.5/10

A geek and a beauty  

My phone was acting weird from some days, suddenly a pop up welcoming me or a sound like hush or automatic theme activation. Being a nerd myself, I knew something was wrong. I worked on making a Bluetooth tracer and hacked into central server and alas, I could identify the culprit location through GPS.  

Tracking way through my GPS tracker, I reached city café and found a girl in her twenties, playing with her mobile and my GPS tracker could identify her.

 I pulled a chair and sat beside her and asked “Why me, babe?” 

She responded unflinchingly “So that you can find me, I am Tina. I’m your sister’s best friend”. I was taken aback. 

She showed me some outstanding tricks on her gadgets. By looking at her picture perfect figure, I knew she was not capable of working hard to learn the ropes of geeky world but yes, must have worked hard in Gold’s Gym.  

So I asked her ‘what’s your source, because you do not belong to cheesy nerdy world’. 

She answered with one liner “I was a geek’s girlfriend” 

She rode pillion with me and entered my cozy terrace. I told her to take a seat and be comfortable. I appreciated the guts and off course…. the looks!!

I took water bottle, poured them in two glasses and saw her flipping pages of my yet to be published book “Free Email services and loop holes- expert guide”. 

She asked me curiously about loop holes. I explained her, the nuisances involved in hacking and most importantly to delete the foot prints (traces which can lead an investigation agency to the source of hack). I took solace in fact that being a proud nerd; my knowledge surpasses common people’s understanding. 

We chatted for a while and then she left for her place.

I was busy in my offshore oil exploration projects, as Engineer in ONGC. 

In my next trip back home, I thought to visit her and when I reached there; found 3 police vans queued in parking place. I was sure, she must have loaned trouble for herself by fiddling with gadgets, once again. 

There was some suited booted police walas…they saw an opportunity in the well oiled hair of a geek, that’s me. Cyber crime people asked me 100011 questions in total however they had to let me go as I was a mechanical engineer and had my ONGC employee id. 

Right in front of her house, I saw another geek (her ex) with soda water glasses, polluting the socio fabric culture with abuses directly lifted from ancient mohanjodro site. There I saw, the ninth wonder of the world; a Haryanvi touching his feet and saying “Oh my Lord!! Make me your abuse disciple” 

I got to speak to the beauty finally; she invited me for a party at Taj Lands End.  

She has invited the world over and the do was real classy and had been organized keeping in mind the different tastes of world, in one side Rakhi Sawant was Strutting her X and Y axis and Gary lawyer was practicing in the party. 

She took my hand and showed me around. I asked her HOW? 

She said Thanks…and walked towards stage. 

I read in bold letter “Book Launch – Ms. Tina” 

Book’s name was ‘geek’s girlfriend’ and tagline was “be a geek to take revenge from a geek” 

At least last 10 pages were lifted from our last meeting and surprisingly in THE FOREWARD; she has thanked me 1000 times for being the best teacher.

With heavy breath, I read last 6 lines....

………and to fulfill my revenge, I tried to learn the tricks of a geek. It took me years to know that, although you can pretend to be a geek but can never be one at your will; geeks are born not made. I saw one geek drowning him in champagne and told to myself, he is the one who will help me attain moksha and he did. 

I learnt the trades of geek and assassinated my geek’s character, money and ultimately the pride……he is going to remember me…. forever. 

[ This is a techie version, so if you dont understand it..dont worry there will be a non-techie version coming soon. ]

(Inspired from a true story)